Either Way You're Lying

Everyone should wait tables at some point in their life. It changes your perspective of the world. I started working in a restaurant when I was 17. It was a terrible job. I started out busing tables and watched parents dump runny black beans on the table for their little babies to eat. Just a little FYI the tables in restaurants are disgusting. Even after they have supposedly been cleaned. One restaurant I worked at didn't even use sanitizer spray and a dirty rag (yes all the rags used to wipe down tables are dirty because they have are being used all day to wipe down every dirty table and chair and booth seat), this restaurant used a rag dipped in sanitizer, but the rags were used a lot and not re-dunked in the cold dirty water that passed as sanitizing solution.

Anyway, restaurants are not only disgusting places (I've worked in 3 different restaurants and even though some are more sanitary than others, they are all gross), but they let you see how people really act when they think no one is watching. Being a waitress does not just entail taking orders and getting drinks, it's learning to anticipate a person's needs by watching their body language and gestures. When customers have to ask for things they think the server is terrible at their job and not attentive enough (even if they just saw you get 5 new tables at once). I dealt with crazy customers ( I had a woman who rocked back and forth in her seat, wanted her ribs, coleslaw, and fries to be on separate plates, and refused to pay 2 dollars of her bill because she didn't like the pasta salad, yet refused to tell me this. Regardless, I had to chase her down and make her come back to pay her entire bill). I've also had to deal with picky customers, mean customers, nice customers, and liars. I had a table once tip me 50 dollars when their bill was only 80, it made my night. Monday night I had a table of liars who tried telling me that they had been here before and we had a 2 for 1 special on food on Mondays. Only problem, we don't run specials on food or drinks ever. I explained this to them and then came back to take their food order only to be told that this was their first time here. Come on, you just told me you had been here before. Sometimes I just want to yell at people, but I continue to smile even when they ask for their change when they give me 43 dollars and the bill is 42.33. I love those people (sarcasm), but they are much better than the people who tell you to keep the change on something like that. I would rather be properly stiffed than get 63 cents.

There are a few things I have not had to deal with that I am thankful for: I have never caught anyone having sex in the bathroom or someplace in the restaurant (this actually happens more than you would think), I haven't had anyone throw up at one of my tables, I have not had anyone (other than the crazy lady) try to run out without paying, and I generally come out pretty well at the end of the night (besides last night when I made 16 dollars).