What Now?

After experiencing so much and spending my life savings, my only question is, 'what now?' What do you do when you come down from something as amazing and extraordinary as what I have just lived? I have learned so much more about myself and what I believe and now that part of my life is done. I try to hold on to those memories and keep people I met along the way in my life, but how long can I keep this up? When does reality set in that I will most likely be stuck in the US for the rest of my life and work a job that may or may not bring me fulfillment, because to be honest I do not know what I want to do. I'm scared of losing people that played a major role in my life during this experience. I know I lost friends when I left to go abroad, but in some ways those friendships should have fallen by the wayside long ago. Does that mean the same holds true for the others? I look at it now and I just don't know. I don't know where I will be in 5 years and I pray not stuck. I have always tried to live by a very simple philosphy: Only you can make yourself happy. When I follow this, which I sometimes don't, I would look at what was the cause of my unhappiness and then work to change it. But I don't know if this is the best way of living for me, it just means constant change. I don't end up working through problems, instead I run away from them. I was unhappy with my hallmates and living situation freshman year and I left the hallway all the time and moved across campus the next year. Even abroad I stopped hanging with people who made me unhappy or ran away from problems because I didn't want to deal with them. Maybe the lesson for my life now is just to take everything as it comes and never let an opportunity slip away. I'm still young, although 22 is daunting and approaching very fast. So I will let this year play out and worry about the future when it happens.